Cathy Arrington, LPC, MFT, CPCS, NCC, MACC

Find your pathway to happiness!

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Depression

Posted on April 11, 2011 at 9:19 PM Comments comments (517)
 
Depression - I've been asked on several occasions "How do I get out of this vicious cycle?" or "Why do I keep getting dragged down?"  My response is to start with self-exploration and some suggestions as follows. However, in severe cases where it's impacting your daily functioning (i.e. would rather crawl under a rock and hide all day, every day than face anyone or anything).....it's time to talk to a professional.  In either case, these questions are a start:
 
When do you think these feelings started?
Was it several events that happened all at once that left you feeling like a failure, helpless, or out of control?  If so, what were they and do you think others would feel the same way if it happened to them?
*  If you've felt like this in the past - what worked to help you through?
 
Suggestions -
When you're feeling down it's easy to say "I don't have this or I can't do that".  However, you can transition these phrases into feelings of relief instead of anxiety.  For example, if you're telling yourself - "I don't have any money", you could say "I don't have any money, but I'm doing the best I can to make it from day to day and/or change that situation". The quicker you find the positive(s) in your thoughts the more resiliant you can become to the effects of depression.
 
Interject activities during the day in which you can praise yourself or the situation (i.e.  I finally got to that backburner project and it took even less time than I thought!)  Staying active with something productive can help you conquer the sadness and helplessness that is all too common with depression.
 
> As mentioned earlier, it is recommended to seek professional help if you feel the depression is so severe that you can't function in daily life or have thoughts of suicide.  You deserve to be happy and resiliant again! 

Infidelity/cheating

Posted on January 18, 2011 at 9:19 PM Comments comments (0)
Infidelity - often known as "cheating".  By definition - it's a
violation of the mutually agreed-upon rules or boundaries of an intimate relationship.  For some people, this means the end of a relationship, a "deal breaker" if you will.  However, for some couples it has served as opportunity for growth with the help from a licensed counselor such as myself.   Folks often find during and after the break up that there's more at stake than they bargained for. Especially with married couples and even more so if children are involved (time invested in relationship, finances, loneliness, depression, emotional ties, family, etc).  Married or not, if you're both willing to seek counseling it would definetly help to explore needs as well as possibilities for the relationship going forward.   Counselors like me can help, even if you'd like to seek counseling individually.

Trust issues

Posted on November 18, 2010 at 9:17 AM Comments comments (0)
Trust is consistently proved over time and definetely earned in some kind of form.  Sometimes, trust is broken due to being let down, dissappointed, taken for granted, or abused.  How do we and should we trust that person again? How can we be trusted again?  Most people find it helpful to visit a professional to be sort of like a "coach" when it comes to trust issues.   I've  provided some questions to ask yourself below before you make a decision about seeing a professional like myself on trust issues:
 
1)  Are you willing to do whatever it takes to allow trust to occur again?
2)  Has the other person you may have broken the trust with indicated an
    interest in another chance with you?
3)  If the answer to #2 is yes, then can you be completely honest about
    what happened and be willing to answer any questions they have?
4)  Are you willing to do some self-exploration to discover what may have
    contributed to this situation?
 
If you answered yes to all four questions - you're on the road to regained trust.  If you answered no to one or more questions, don't fret - positive change can still happen.  In either case, I recommend calling for an appointment to help you through this bump in the road.

Communication

Posted on November 12, 2010 at 8:35 AM Comments comments (0)
Do you ever feel like you just want someone to listen to you about something you're trying to say to them?  This can be very frustrating and can leave you feeling helpless.  Some tips to help get you through this: 
 
1)  Begin by writing out what you want to say (it's important to be honest with yourself on this!).  Using "I" statements can assist with wording http://www.traumacentral.net/i-statements.htm
2) Practice saying it to the person before you actually talk to them
3) Picture what they would say back and how you would respond
4) When you're ready to present your case, you will be better prepared
 
If all else fails and you're still in a pickle- call me!  :)

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